Never Knew I Could Feel Like This

I was laying on the bed watching Mickey Mouse reruns on TV when Kitty suddenly busted through the bedroom door. She had been out with... well, I actually don't know, I think it was Dawn, anyways she was searching frantically around the room,
"Where's your phone?" She asked.
"Well hey baby hello to you too." I was up to my usual cocky self.
"Keith this is serious, where the hell is your phone?" her voice raised.
I knew something was up because first she was yelling at me, and second she called me Keith. I dont even remember the last time my parents called me Keith let alone my friends.
"Kit what's wrong?" I finally asked.
"Blair has been trying to reach you all day."she answered.
"Why? What happened?" I was so clueless.
Kitty sat down on the bed in front of me and grabbed my hand, "TwoBit.... it's your mom. She....she died."
I felt like there should have been some dramatic music playing in the background like in a movie. But this wasn't acting, it was real life with real pain and a real reaction.
There was so much going on in my head, I didn't know what to do or say. My first instinct was to start laughing, so I did like a crazy person. Kit gave me the weirdest look, I knew she was worried. You tell someone their mom died and they start laughing? WTF? But that's all I could do. Right after I started laughing tears began to fill my eyes then slowly run down my face.
"TwoBit..." Kitty reached for me.
"No I'm fine...really I am." I lied.
Like hell I was fine, I was the opposite of fine, I wanted to burn the damn house down. My mother used to be everything to me. She was who I felt loved me the most, the one I goofed around with at home, who I had tickle fights with, who I cleaned the dishes after dinner for. My mom was my best friend, yeah she had some drug problems, but she was a good mother.
I stood up from the bed, leaving Kit clueless as to what I was doing. I went to the fridge and downed the first three beers I grabbed.
"No TwoBit, I'm not letting you do this to yourself." Kit grabbed the bottle.
Getting drunk was the only way I knew how to rid myself of the feelings I didn't want to feel. I had done it multiple times.
"Getting drunk isn't always the answer, it just holds off your feelings so you can feel them later. It never gets rid of them." Kitty was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted was that alcohol.
I started crying full on this time, i turned and jammed my fist into the fridge door. I felt Kitty's arms wrap around me, her cheek resting against my back.
"It goes away... I promise." she said.
I didn't even think about it till then. She's been here, she lost her parents, she knows what this feels like.
I turned to face her, "I just can't believe she's gone Kitty, I though she'd be here... longer. I thought she'd be here for our wedding.."
Kit pressed her forehead against mine. "I know, but it's going to be okay... you're going to be okay."
I knew she was right, because as long as I had Kit, I'd be just fine.