Never Knew I Could Feel Like This

I was laying on the bed watching Mickey Mouse reruns on TV when Kitty suddenly busted through the bedroom door. She had been out with... well, I actually don't know, I think it was Dawn, anyways she was searching frantically around the room,
"Where's your phone?" She asked.
"Well hey baby hello to you too." I was up to my usual cocky self.
"Keith this is serious, where the hell is your phone?" her voice raised.
I knew something was up because first she was yelling at me, and second she called me Keith. I dont even remember the last time my parents called me Keith let alone my friends.
"Kit what's wrong?" I finally asked.
"Blair has been trying to reach you all day."she answered.
"Why? What happened?" I was so clueless.
Kitty sat down on the bed in front of me and grabbed my hand, "TwoBit.... it's your mom. She....she died."
I felt like there should have been some dramatic music playing in the background like in a movie. But this wasn't acting, it was real life with real pain and a real reaction.
There was so much going on in my head, I didn't know what to do or say. My first instinct was to start laughing, so I did like a crazy person. Kit gave me the weirdest look, I knew she was worried. You tell someone their mom died and they start laughing? WTF? But that's all I could do. Right after I started laughing tears began to fill my eyes then slowly run down my face.
"TwoBit..." Kitty reached for me.
"No I'm fine...really I am." I lied.
Like hell I was fine, I was the opposite of fine, I wanted to burn the damn house down. My mother used to be everything to me. She was who I felt loved me the most, the one I goofed around with at home, who I had tickle fights with, who I cleaned the dishes after dinner for. My mom was my best friend, yeah she had some drug problems, but she was a good mother.
I stood up from the bed, leaving Kit clueless as to what I was doing. I went to the fridge and downed the first three beers I grabbed.
"No TwoBit, I'm not letting you do this to yourself." Kit grabbed the bottle.
Getting drunk was the only way I knew how to rid myself of the feelings I didn't want to feel. I had done it multiple times.
"Getting drunk isn't always the answer, it just holds off your feelings so you can feel them later. It never gets rid of them." Kitty was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted was that alcohol.
I started crying full on this time, i turned and jammed my fist into the fridge door. I felt Kitty's arms wrap around me, her cheek resting against my back.
"It goes away... I promise." she said.
I didn't even think about it till then. She's been here, she lost her parents, she knows what this feels like.
I turned to face her, "I just can't believe she's gone Kitty, I though she'd be here... longer. I thought she'd be here for our wedding.."
Kit pressed her forehead against mine. "I know, but it's going to be okay... you're going to be okay."
I knew she was right, because as long as I had Kit, I'd be just fine.

All You Need Is Love

Yesterday was Valentine's day and tomorrow is mine and Kit's anniversary, so we just combined the two and celebrated today :D

Kit went out with the girls last night for ladies night at the Dingo. When Kit got home she went into the bedroom to change and that's when she saw what I left for her. A huge white stuffed Kitty, and hanging around it's neck was a necklace. I heard her scream down the hallway, then she came running in the kitchen, jumped in my arms and kissed me.
"I love you too!" I said.
We ate chocolate covered strawberries that I had made and watched that movie called "Valentines Day", yeah I know go figure. Then we went to bed.

This morning I woke Kitty up and told her to go put on something nice. I prayed she would find it, and she did, tucked between her clothes in the closet was a beautiful blue dress. She put it on with the necklace I had given her and then we headed out. I took her to this nice place for breakfast and then we headed on the road. It took Kit a moment to notice that there were suitcases in the backseat.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"You'll see." I smiled at her.
We drove for about two hours, the whole time Kitty messed with the radio and screamed songs out the car window. We finally pulled up to this nice little cabin by the lake.
"Are we the only ones here?" Kit was getting excited.
"Yep, it's all ours till 6pm tomorrow."
Kit screamed and ran inside.
It was a nice little cabin with two bedrooms and a really relaxing looking bath tub, we're definitely going to try that out later. ;)
The kitchen was fully stocked with food. I packed a lunch and we took a canoe out on the lake. We sat in the middle of the water eating sandwiches and drinking lemonade.
"Ya know... if we're doing exactly this 30 years from now, I'd be completely fine with that." I said.
Kit smiled back then kissed me. Next thing you know were making out in the canoe and it tips over. Our heads both bobbed up laughing then we start kissing again and somehow we ended up back in the cabin getting the bed all wet...... from the water.
There was deer stocked in the fridge so I cooked it up with some carrots and potatoes and we had dinner in front of the fireplace.
It was a great Valentines Day, and an even greater anniversary.
I can't believe I've already spent a year with Kit, but if it's anything like the year we've already had together, then I sure as hell don't mind spending a million more. I love you KitKat Curtis, you are my life, my everything.

A Nice Little Night

I feel like there's been so much going on that if I go to sleep at night I just might miss something. My brain has been pulled in all sorts of directions lately and I'm sick of it, so now it's time for TwoBit to wind things down.
I feel like Kitty's been on edge lately, with her health and the wedding and all, so I decided I'd take her out. Dimitri was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and he's staying with us since our apartment is one story and we can help take car of him and all, so I thought it would be a good time to leave him and Jelly alone for a while. It was the least I could do considering the poor guy won't be gettin any for a while HA HA. If I ever shatter my pelvis, you might as well just go ahead and kill me. He's on crutches now and can't even sit down, he either has to stand or lay down. I told Kit to put on something nice, well "Kit" nice, which consists of skinny jeans, heels, and a nice top, but hey who am I to complain?
"Where are we going?" Here came the questions, which I refused to answer.
I pulled the car up to a water tower. The look on Kit's face was priceless, I felt stupid just looking at her, but all I could do was smile. I got out and ran around to get the car door for her. We climbed up the ladder on the side of the Tulsa water tower, and when we reached the top her eyes lit up. I came earlier and set up blankets, pillows, and candles. And there was a small tray that held chocolate fondue with bananas, strawberries, and marshmallows.
We snuggled and watched the sunset and ate our chocolate fondue.
"Who knew TwoBitch Mathews could be so romantic?" She teased.
"Yeah, I suprised myself." I said.
She looked at me for a moment. "Dimitri?"
Dammit, no one sees through me like that girl. My shoulders dropped and my smile faded. "Yeah." I sighed.
"Well, at least you took the effort to try and plan a nice night for me." She smiled and kissed me.
"That I did." I kissed her again. "But it's not over just yet."
I helped her down the water tower and we got back in the car and drove to the jewelers.
"I thought we could pick out our wedding rings." I said.
She glowed as we walked inside and looked at the endless amount of diamonds lining the glass cases. We tried on ring after ring and compared prices, and after about an hour or so we made a decision and put the rings on layaway.
One more stop.....
About midnight we pulled into the park where we used to play when we were little. I pushed Kitty in the swing as I reminisced on innocent memories, back when the world was nothing more than lollipops and juice boxes.
I got in the swing next to her and we decided to see who could jump the farthest off of the swing. We got pumped up and swinging hard and then we both flew from the swings..... and landed on our asses. Well I landed on my ass and she landed on me. We laughed it off and laid next to each other in the sand.
"Kitty, I'm going to say something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I'm only saying this to benefit us." She looked at me puzzled. "If we need to push the wedding date, I'll understand. You know? Maybe you need to get healthier, and I need to get a job and a good income, and ..." I trailed on till I felt her finger silence my lips.
"TwoBit, weather we got married today or twenty years from now, It's not going to change the fact that I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I rather face these things now with you, than face them now alone." That struck me deep. I knew it was the truth all along, and I completely agreed with everything she said, it made me smile just to hear her say it. "I love you too Kitty, and we're going to get through all of this, together." I laid back on the sand while she sat on top of me. My hands played with her fingers, and I stared up into her soft brown eyes, and right then I knew everything was going to be okay.