Till Death Do Us Part?

I woke up rubbing my eyes, it was well past noon and I was surprised not to feel a hangover coming on. I walked out into the hallway just to have Kitty yelling at me to go back to sleep. o.O I slowly turned and walked back into the room. Plopping down on the bed, I turned the TV to mickey mouse, burying my chin into a pillow laying on my stomach. Metal was clinging in the kitchen and the house was filled with a pleasant smell. A little while later Kitty walked in holding a plate of brownies.
Brownies? I thought to myself. Well, she IS a Curtis.
I took one bite, "Kitty...are these my mom's brownies?"
She nodded. The last person to ever make them was my mom of course, and now that she wasn't around to do it, I had Kitty. No one makes brownies like my momma, but Kitty did come pretty damn close. I savored every bite as memories of my mom floated back into my mind. I usually would be really picky about someone else making my mothers brownies. One time Mom went on vacation with some friends to the beach. She was only gone a week, but I was high and REALLY wanted those brownies, I damn nearly cried, so Blair attempted to make them. She followed the right recipe and everything, but something about them just wasn't Mom's. It resulted me throwing them in her face. This time was different, although I do have a deep love for my little sisters, my love for Kit is above and beyond, not in a bad way, just a different way. If anyone in the world had to make my momma's brownies besides my momma, I would want it to be Kitty. I love Kitty, despite my recent choices, I do love her more than anything.
Kitty took me out to some place behind the South side. It was a meadow, funny how we never knew it was there before. Anyway, we had a good time just goofing around and lying in the sun.
"Why don't we get married? Right here. Right now. Just us."
The question didn't take me by surprise, in fact it didn't even startle me like it would most guys,
"Well Kitty, I guess we can ask that tree over there to be the reverend.." I said cracking a joke. But then I suddenly meant it in all seriousness. I stood up and pulled Kitty closely behind me untill we were standing in front of the tree I gestured to. I used a high pitch squeaky voice to portray the tree reverend,
"KitKat Sarah Curtis.. do you take me to be your husband? To have and to hold till death do us part?"
Kitty smiled, "Yes I do.... Keith Andrew Mathews, Do you take me as your wife? To have and to hold till death do us part?"
I looked at her for a long while, "And longer." I said. Then I kissed her.

What have I done?

The drinking didn't stop, it followed day after day and I fell into a never ending haze that would lead me down a road I never meant to take.
Last week...two days after the funeral, I found myself at yet another party. No familiar faces...except one. Marcia had invited me over that afternoon and being drunk off my ass I said yes without even considering my options. I didn't expect it to turn into anything, but man was I wrong. I can't even remember who leaned in first, all I know is that we ended up doing it on the living room couch. I tried to leave in a hurry without being rude, but I instantly felt the regret...and the hurt that Kit was sure to feel. I didn't tell her right away, and so then she heard it from someone else. I'm guessing Marcia spread it around town that we hooked up, a greaser and a soc... and me engaged. I went home and drifted into my usual sulking spot on the bed until I heard Kitty come in the front door. I stood up, but she was in the bedroom faster than I could even find my words to start,
"I heard about you and Marcia." she said.
I felt the world weighing down on me. I was ashamed and so, so sorry.
"I'm sorry Kitty...I reall..." she cut me off,
"Its okay, I forgive you." She said.
It was almost too easy, I didn't quite understand, but that didn't interfere with what we did next. It didn't make me feel any better considering that I had just done it with someone else only hours before, and Kitty's response didn't make me feel like I was exactly off the hook. My mind was spinning, and I couldn't grasp the concept of who I was anymore. I'm not the cheating type, it's just not me and I don't tolerate that at all, but now I'm a cheater, something I used to look down upon, and people always tell me.... cheaters never prosper.

Long Week

I visited her grave every day this week since the funeral. I had so much to say, but when I got there I couldn't bring myself to say them. The night of the funeral I went to Bucks and added another hundred dollars to my tab. On my sixth beer I glanced around at the unknown faces, until one on the dance floor caught my eye. Marcia looked up and noticed me, giving me a smile she walked up to me and dragged me onto the floor with her. We danced a while and talked a little, I was drunk so I don't really remember what about. I didn't even know she was back in town, that last time we saw each other at the drive in on a night so long ago replayed in my mind. Before I headed out I gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek.
I ended up laying on the merry-go-round in the park staring up at the sky. I heard footsteps and instinctively reached for my switch. I rolled over and pointed it in the direction the noise was coming from.
"Gosh kid, don't you know better than to sneak up on a drunk ass greaser like me?" I said to him.
"Yeah Twobit, my first thought was that one of my best friends was going to kill me." Pony rolled his eyes and dragged me off the merry-go-round and into the car.
You know you've drank too much when your girlfriend's kid brother has to drive you home. Pony got me back to the apartment and in the door. I fell on to the couch not wanting to move so I just slept there.
The next morning I got up and took a shower. Dimitri apparently spent the night cause breakfast was set out all professional and neat like. I put on my favorite Mickey Shirt and jeans with my boots, greased back my hair, and headed over to dad's house. I hadn't been to his new place before. It was decently nice, not like the house he bought when he lived with us. I knocked on the front door.
"Well isn't this a surprise." He said.
"Yeah, hey dad." I said rubbing my forehead. "Is Jamie here?"
"She's upstairs." He pushed open the door and I walked in.
The walls were all neutral colors, clean and precise. Up to date furniture filled the generously sized rooms.
I found Jamie's door by the photos that decorated the outside. I knocked and slowly opened it.
Jamie was sprawled out on her bed reading and doing homework.
I gave her a look, "Dads got you doing your homework? Damn, that's something I could never do." I said.
"Yeah well considering you don't do yours either it wasn't as much as a threat then." Jamie replied.
"Dads got you locked up in here pretty good huh?" I heard about his rules and regulations.
Jamie nodded staring into her math book.
"Good." I said. That made her look up.
"Good? Are you crazy? I can't stay out late or have any alcohol and my boyfriend can't come twenty yards within the house."
"I repeat, GOOD." I replied.
"Ya know James...." I sat down on her bed, "Dad has money, he can pay for college and other things mom and us never could. You have a shot at a better life here."
"Yeah Yeah. I was fine off with you guys too." She added.
"But you're better off here. Considering your brother's girlfriend sneaks you out and gets you drunk, I think you are definitely better off living here than with me, and there's no way in hell I'm letting you live under the same roof as Dallas so, this is all you got kid, and it's better than any of us ever had."
She seemed to ponder on what I said.
"Well, I gotta go so... guess I'll see ya around." I leaned over and kissed the top of her head then left.
Next stop was Blair's. I let myself in and immediately wished I hadn't.
"For the love of Christ man put some pants on." I yelled at Dallas who was standing in the middle of the living room in his underwear.
"Look man when you have kids that gotta eat, bathe, and cry all the time and you can't even take a second to grab some pants, then we'll talk." He replied.
"Your fault, not mine." I said.
Thank God Blair walked into the room fully clothed.
"What brings you here on such a pleasant day?" she said very sarcastically.
"Just seein whats up." I shrugged.
"Same old shit really." She said.
"Yeah?" I pulled an envelope from my back pocket. "Well, here." I handed it to her. She peeked inside. "What the hell? TwoBit I can't take this..." she shoved it back in my hand.
"Yes you can. Most of its what mom left.... use it on the kid." I said.
She sighed, "Fine. Thanks."
"..and maybe some pants for Dallas..." I added.
I hugged her then left for home.
When someone close to you dies, it makes you start to think. You gotta cherish the time you have with them, cause you never know when that time may run out.

Never Knew I Could Feel Like This

I was laying on the bed watching Mickey Mouse reruns on TV when Kitty suddenly busted through the bedroom door. She had been out with... well, I actually don't know, I think it was Dawn, anyways she was searching frantically around the room,
"Where's your phone?" She asked.
"Well hey baby hello to you too." I was up to my usual cocky self.
"Keith this is serious, where the hell is your phone?" her voice raised.
I knew something was up because first she was yelling at me, and second she called me Keith. I dont even remember the last time my parents called me Keith let alone my friends.
"Kit what's wrong?" I finally asked.
"Blair has been trying to reach you all day."she answered.
"Why? What happened?" I was so clueless.
Kitty sat down on the bed in front of me and grabbed my hand, "TwoBit.... it's your mom. She....she died."
I felt like there should have been some dramatic music playing in the background like in a movie. But this wasn't acting, it was real life with real pain and a real reaction.
There was so much going on in my head, I didn't know what to do or say. My first instinct was to start laughing, so I did like a crazy person. Kit gave me the weirdest look, I knew she was worried. You tell someone their mom died and they start laughing? WTF? But that's all I could do. Right after I started laughing tears began to fill my eyes then slowly run down my face.
"TwoBit..." Kitty reached for me.
"No I'm fine...really I am." I lied.
Like hell I was fine, I was the opposite of fine, I wanted to burn the damn house down. My mother used to be everything to me. She was who I felt loved me the most, the one I goofed around with at home, who I had tickle fights with, who I cleaned the dishes after dinner for. My mom was my best friend, yeah she had some drug problems, but she was a good mother.
I stood up from the bed, leaving Kit clueless as to what I was doing. I went to the fridge and downed the first three beers I grabbed.
"No TwoBit, I'm not letting you do this to yourself." Kit grabbed the bottle.
Getting drunk was the only way I knew how to rid myself of the feelings I didn't want to feel. I had done it multiple times.
"Getting drunk isn't always the answer, it just holds off your feelings so you can feel them later. It never gets rid of them." Kitty was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted was that alcohol.
I started crying full on this time, i turned and jammed my fist into the fridge door. I felt Kitty's arms wrap around me, her cheek resting against my back.
"It goes away... I promise." she said.
I didn't even think about it till then. She's been here, she lost her parents, she knows what this feels like.
I turned to face her, "I just can't believe she's gone Kitty, I though she'd be here... longer. I thought she'd be here for our wedding.."
Kit pressed her forehead against mine. "I know, but it's going to be okay... you're going to be okay."
I knew she was right, because as long as I had Kit, I'd be just fine.

All You Need Is Love

Yesterday was Valentine's day and tomorrow is mine and Kit's anniversary, so we just combined the two and celebrated today :D

Kit went out with the girls last night for ladies night at the Dingo. When Kit got home she went into the bedroom to change and that's when she saw what I left for her. A huge white stuffed Kitty, and hanging around it's neck was a necklace. I heard her scream down the hallway, then she came running in the kitchen, jumped in my arms and kissed me.
"I love you too!" I said.
We ate chocolate covered strawberries that I had made and watched that movie called "Valentines Day", yeah I know go figure. Then we went to bed.

This morning I woke Kitty up and told her to go put on something nice. I prayed she would find it, and she did, tucked between her clothes in the closet was a beautiful blue dress. She put it on with the necklace I had given her and then we headed out. I took her to this nice place for breakfast and then we headed on the road. It took Kit a moment to notice that there were suitcases in the backseat.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"You'll see." I smiled at her.
We drove for about two hours, the whole time Kitty messed with the radio and screamed songs out the car window. We finally pulled up to this nice little cabin by the lake.
"Are we the only ones here?" Kit was getting excited.
"Yep, it's all ours till 6pm tomorrow."
Kit screamed and ran inside.
It was a nice little cabin with two bedrooms and a really relaxing looking bath tub, we're definitely going to try that out later. ;)
The kitchen was fully stocked with food. I packed a lunch and we took a canoe out on the lake. We sat in the middle of the water eating sandwiches and drinking lemonade.
"Ya know... if we're doing exactly this 30 years from now, I'd be completely fine with that." I said.
Kit smiled back then kissed me. Next thing you know were making out in the canoe and it tips over. Our heads both bobbed up laughing then we start kissing again and somehow we ended up back in the cabin getting the bed all wet...... from the water.
There was deer stocked in the fridge so I cooked it up with some carrots and potatoes and we had dinner in front of the fireplace.
It was a great Valentines Day, and an even greater anniversary.
I can't believe I've already spent a year with Kit, but if it's anything like the year we've already had together, then I sure as hell don't mind spending a million more. I love you KitKat Curtis, you are my life, my everything.

A Nice Little Night

I feel like there's been so much going on that if I go to sleep at night I just might miss something. My brain has been pulled in all sorts of directions lately and I'm sick of it, so now it's time for TwoBit to wind things down.
I feel like Kitty's been on edge lately, with her health and the wedding and all, so I decided I'd take her out. Dimitri was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and he's staying with us since our apartment is one story and we can help take car of him and all, so I thought it would be a good time to leave him and Jelly alone for a while. It was the least I could do considering the poor guy won't be gettin any for a while HA HA. If I ever shatter my pelvis, you might as well just go ahead and kill me. He's on crutches now and can't even sit down, he either has to stand or lay down. I told Kit to put on something nice, well "Kit" nice, which consists of skinny jeans, heels, and a nice top, but hey who am I to complain?
"Where are we going?" Here came the questions, which I refused to answer.
I pulled the car up to a water tower. The look on Kit's face was priceless, I felt stupid just looking at her, but all I could do was smile. I got out and ran around to get the car door for her. We climbed up the ladder on the side of the Tulsa water tower, and when we reached the top her eyes lit up. I came earlier and set up blankets, pillows, and candles. And there was a small tray that held chocolate fondue with bananas, strawberries, and marshmallows.
We snuggled and watched the sunset and ate our chocolate fondue.
"Who knew TwoBitch Mathews could be so romantic?" She teased.
"Yeah, I suprised myself." I said.
She looked at me for a moment. "Dimitri?"
Dammit, no one sees through me like that girl. My shoulders dropped and my smile faded. "Yeah." I sighed.
"Well, at least you took the effort to try and plan a nice night for me." She smiled and kissed me.
"That I did." I kissed her again. "But it's not over just yet."
I helped her down the water tower and we got back in the car and drove to the jewelers.
"I thought we could pick out our wedding rings." I said.
She glowed as we walked inside and looked at the endless amount of diamonds lining the glass cases. We tried on ring after ring and compared prices, and after about an hour or so we made a decision and put the rings on layaway.
One more stop.....
About midnight we pulled into the park where we used to play when we were little. I pushed Kitty in the swing as I reminisced on innocent memories, back when the world was nothing more than lollipops and juice boxes.
I got in the swing next to her and we decided to see who could jump the farthest off of the swing. We got pumped up and swinging hard and then we both flew from the swings..... and landed on our asses. Well I landed on my ass and she landed on me. We laughed it off and laid next to each other in the sand.
"Kitty, I'm going to say something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I'm only saying this to benefit us." She looked at me puzzled. "If we need to push the wedding date, I'll understand. You know? Maybe you need to get healthier, and I need to get a job and a good income, and ..." I trailed on till I felt her finger silence my lips.
"TwoBit, weather we got married today or twenty years from now, It's not going to change the fact that I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I rather face these things now with you, than face them now alone." That struck me deep. I knew it was the truth all along, and I completely agreed with everything she said, it made me smile just to hear her say it. "I love you too Kitty, and we're going to get through all of this, together." I laid back on the sand while she sat on top of me. My hands played with her fingers, and I stared up into her soft brown eyes, and right then I knew everything was going to be okay.

Silence Isn't Always Golden

I was hanging at the DX with Soda and Steve that morning. I was invited to tag along with Kit but I had already promised Soda I'd entertain him at work so I left Kit, Jelly, Dimitri, and Chase to have fun without me. Little did I know that "fun" would turn to hell.
It was a little after noon when I noticed I had one missed call from Kit. I dialed her number and listened to the repetitive ringing. I almost gave up when she finally answered. Her voice was nervous, on edge. I knew something wasn't quite right. "Kitty what's wrong?" I know her voice when it's sad, when it's angry, when it's loving, and I definitely know when something is wrong. It's the only part of her voice that scares me. "It's Dimitri. He was hit by a car, we're at the hospital." I felt that I needed to be there so I told Soda and Steve what was up then sped on over to the hospital. I paced down the hallway looking for Kit. When she said Dimitri had been hit by a car, I thought "Ok, he's just bruised up, maybe one broken bone. Not a huge deal." But when I walked into that hospital room, the intensity slapped me in the face. He was laying on a hospital bed wrapped in bandages and blood stained cloths, hooked up to monitors with a breathing tube shoved down his throat. I had never ever imagined him so....broken. Kit was in the room, along with Jelly, Chase, and Elena. I couldn't stand there calmly, the atmosphere bothered me too much and made me sick to my stomach. The apartment has been empty and lifeless the past few days. A place that's always known the sounds of laughter, of friends becoming family. I feel stupid sitting here and not doing anything, but when your friend is on the line between life and death, there really isn't anything else you feel like doing.