Never Knew I Could Feel Like This

I was laying on the bed watching Mickey Mouse reruns on TV when Kitty suddenly busted through the bedroom door. She had been out with... well, I actually don't know, I think it was Dawn, anyways she was searching frantically around the room,
"Where's your phone?" She asked.
"Well hey baby hello to you too." I was up to my usual cocky self.
"Keith this is serious, where the hell is your phone?" her voice raised.
I knew something was up because first she was yelling at me, and second she called me Keith. I dont even remember the last time my parents called me Keith let alone my friends.
"Kit what's wrong?" I finally asked.
"Blair has been trying to reach you all day."she answered.
"Why? What happened?" I was so clueless.
Kitty sat down on the bed in front of me and grabbed my hand, "TwoBit.... it's your mom. She....she died."
I felt like there should have been some dramatic music playing in the background like in a movie. But this wasn't acting, it was real life with real pain and a real reaction.
There was so much going on in my head, I didn't know what to do or say. My first instinct was to start laughing, so I did like a crazy person. Kit gave me the weirdest look, I knew she was worried. You tell someone their mom died and they start laughing? WTF? But that's all I could do. Right after I started laughing tears began to fill my eyes then slowly run down my face.
"TwoBit..." Kitty reached for me.
"No I'm fine...really I am." I lied.
Like hell I was fine, I was the opposite of fine, I wanted to burn the damn house down. My mother used to be everything to me. She was who I felt loved me the most, the one I goofed around with at home, who I had tickle fights with, who I cleaned the dishes after dinner for. My mom was my best friend, yeah she had some drug problems, but she was a good mother.
I stood up from the bed, leaving Kit clueless as to what I was doing. I went to the fridge and downed the first three beers I grabbed.
"No TwoBit, I'm not letting you do this to yourself." Kit grabbed the bottle.
Getting drunk was the only way I knew how to rid myself of the feelings I didn't want to feel. I had done it multiple times.
"Getting drunk isn't always the answer, it just holds off your feelings so you can feel them later. It never gets rid of them." Kitty was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted was that alcohol.
I started crying full on this time, i turned and jammed my fist into the fridge door. I felt Kitty's arms wrap around me, her cheek resting against my back.
"It goes away... I promise." she said.
I didn't even think about it till then. She's been here, she lost her parents, she knows what this feels like.
I turned to face her, "I just can't believe she's gone Kitty, I though she'd be here... longer. I thought she'd be here for our wedding.."
Kit pressed her forehead against mine. "I know, but it's going to be okay... you're going to be okay."
I knew she was right, because as long as I had Kit, I'd be just fine.

All You Need Is Love

Yesterday was Valentine's day and tomorrow is mine and Kit's anniversary, so we just combined the two and celebrated today :D

Kit went out with the girls last night for ladies night at the Dingo. When Kit got home she went into the bedroom to change and that's when she saw what I left for her. A huge white stuffed Kitty, and hanging around it's neck was a necklace. I heard her scream down the hallway, then she came running in the kitchen, jumped in my arms and kissed me.
"I love you too!" I said.
We ate chocolate covered strawberries that I had made and watched that movie called "Valentines Day", yeah I know go figure. Then we went to bed.

This morning I woke Kitty up and told her to go put on something nice. I prayed she would find it, and she did, tucked between her clothes in the closet was a beautiful blue dress. She put it on with the necklace I had given her and then we headed out. I took her to this nice place for breakfast and then we headed on the road. It took Kit a moment to notice that there were suitcases in the backseat.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"You'll see." I smiled at her.
We drove for about two hours, the whole time Kitty messed with the radio and screamed songs out the car window. We finally pulled up to this nice little cabin by the lake.
"Are we the only ones here?" Kit was getting excited.
"Yep, it's all ours till 6pm tomorrow."
Kit screamed and ran inside.
It was a nice little cabin with two bedrooms and a really relaxing looking bath tub, we're definitely going to try that out later. ;)
The kitchen was fully stocked with food. I packed a lunch and we took a canoe out on the lake. We sat in the middle of the water eating sandwiches and drinking lemonade.
"Ya know... if we're doing exactly this 30 years from now, I'd be completely fine with that." I said.
Kit smiled back then kissed me. Next thing you know were making out in the canoe and it tips over. Our heads both bobbed up laughing then we start kissing again and somehow we ended up back in the cabin getting the bed all wet...... from the water.
There was deer stocked in the fridge so I cooked it up with some carrots and potatoes and we had dinner in front of the fireplace.
It was a great Valentines Day, and an even greater anniversary.
I can't believe I've already spent a year with Kit, but if it's anything like the year we've already had together, then I sure as hell don't mind spending a million more. I love you KitKat Curtis, you are my life, my everything.

A Nice Little Night

I feel like there's been so much going on that if I go to sleep at night I just might miss something. My brain has been pulled in all sorts of directions lately and I'm sick of it, so now it's time for TwoBit to wind things down.
I feel like Kitty's been on edge lately, with her health and the wedding and all, so I decided I'd take her out. Dimitri was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and he's staying with us since our apartment is one story and we can help take car of him and all, so I thought it would be a good time to leave him and Jelly alone for a while. It was the least I could do considering the poor guy won't be gettin any for a while HA HA. If I ever shatter my pelvis, you might as well just go ahead and kill me. He's on crutches now and can't even sit down, he either has to stand or lay down. I told Kit to put on something nice, well "Kit" nice, which consists of skinny jeans, heels, and a nice top, but hey who am I to complain?
"Where are we going?" Here came the questions, which I refused to answer.
I pulled the car up to a water tower. The look on Kit's face was priceless, I felt stupid just looking at her, but all I could do was smile. I got out and ran around to get the car door for her. We climbed up the ladder on the side of the Tulsa water tower, and when we reached the top her eyes lit up. I came earlier and set up blankets, pillows, and candles. And there was a small tray that held chocolate fondue with bananas, strawberries, and marshmallows.
We snuggled and watched the sunset and ate our chocolate fondue.
"Who knew TwoBitch Mathews could be so romantic?" She teased.
"Yeah, I suprised myself." I said.
She looked at me for a moment. "Dimitri?"
Dammit, no one sees through me like that girl. My shoulders dropped and my smile faded. "Yeah." I sighed.
"Well, at least you took the effort to try and plan a nice night for me." She smiled and kissed me.
"That I did." I kissed her again. "But it's not over just yet."
I helped her down the water tower and we got back in the car and drove to the jewelers.
"I thought we could pick out our wedding rings." I said.
She glowed as we walked inside and looked at the endless amount of diamonds lining the glass cases. We tried on ring after ring and compared prices, and after about an hour or so we made a decision and put the rings on layaway.
One more stop.....
About midnight we pulled into the park where we used to play when we were little. I pushed Kitty in the swing as I reminisced on innocent memories, back when the world was nothing more than lollipops and juice boxes.
I got in the swing next to her and we decided to see who could jump the farthest off of the swing. We got pumped up and swinging hard and then we both flew from the swings..... and landed on our asses. Well I landed on my ass and she landed on me. We laughed it off and laid next to each other in the sand.
"Kitty, I'm going to say something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I'm only saying this to benefit us." She looked at me puzzled. "If we need to push the wedding date, I'll understand. You know? Maybe you need to get healthier, and I need to get a job and a good income, and ..." I trailed on till I felt her finger silence my lips.
"TwoBit, weather we got married today or twenty years from now, It's not going to change the fact that I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I rather face these things now with you, than face them now alone." That struck me deep. I knew it was the truth all along, and I completely agreed with everything she said, it made me smile just to hear her say it. "I love you too Kitty, and we're going to get through all of this, together." I laid back on the sand while she sat on top of me. My hands played with her fingers, and I stared up into her soft brown eyes, and right then I knew everything was going to be okay.

Silence Isn't Always Golden

I was hanging at the DX with Soda and Steve that morning. I was invited to tag along with Kit but I had already promised Soda I'd entertain him at work so I left Kit, Jelly, Dimitri, and Chase to have fun without me. Little did I know that "fun" would turn to hell.
It was a little after noon when I noticed I had one missed call from Kit. I dialed her number and listened to the repetitive ringing. I almost gave up when she finally answered. Her voice was nervous, on edge. I knew something wasn't quite right. "Kitty what's wrong?" I know her voice when it's sad, when it's angry, when it's loving, and I definitely know when something is wrong. It's the only part of her voice that scares me. "It's Dimitri. He was hit by a car, we're at the hospital." I felt that I needed to be there so I told Soda and Steve what was up then sped on over to the hospital. I paced down the hallway looking for Kit. When she said Dimitri had been hit by a car, I thought "Ok, he's just bruised up, maybe one broken bone. Not a huge deal." But when I walked into that hospital room, the intensity slapped me in the face. He was laying on a hospital bed wrapped in bandages and blood stained cloths, hooked up to monitors with a breathing tube shoved down his throat. I had never ever imagined him so....broken. Kit was in the room, along with Jelly, Chase, and Elena. I couldn't stand there calmly, the atmosphere bothered me too much and made me sick to my stomach. The apartment has been empty and lifeless the past few days. A place that's always known the sounds of laughter, of friends becoming family. I feel stupid sitting here and not doing anything, but when your friend is on the line between life and death, there really isn't anything else you feel like doing.

Quadruple Date

Me and Kitty were bored and wanted to have some fun so we decided to have a couples night. Dimitri was already over with Jelly so we invited Soda and Katie and Dallas and Blair. We just kinda hung out at the apartment all night. Soda and Dimitri cooked and after we ate we played Wii bowling. Kitty won, my girl is a beast!!! We also played catchphrase, and monopoly, which lasted forever. It was snowing outside and there was this ice skating rink down the street open for the winter so we all decided to go and ice skate. You should see a preggo Blair ice skate lol. No offense sister! We were walking back home when Soda stepped in a puddle of melted snow and everyone laughed st him. Then he threw the water at us and pushed us in the puddle. We were all wet and freezing our assess off so we got inside and started the fireplace. We watched a scary movie and I swear someone pissed their pants. After wards we played a game of ten fingers and then Kit suggested we play Nine minutes in Heaven. How the hell do you play Nine minutes in Heaven with people who are not single?? But anyways we spun a bottle twice and the two people it landed on had to go in the bathroom for 9 minutes. The first one landed on me, and thank god I got Kitty. So we do our thing in the bathroom for 9 minutes. Kitty doesn't put out so it may not have been as good as the others. The next spin landed on Jellly and Blair. Hmm, those were some interesting noises. The Next one was Dimitri and Kit, but I wasn't worried cause I knew Dimitri wouldn't ever cheat on Jelly. Everyone was getting tired and was ready to go home when we decided to do one more spin. It landed on Dallas and Soda!!! I don't want to know what those kids did in there but I think I'm going to bleach that bathroom. Twice!!
Everyone left after that and we were tired so we went to bed. I laid there and asked Kit what she did with Dimitri in the bathroom and this is what she said ""Oh u could definetly get some lessons from him.he knows how to work his stuff." What the fuck?

Wake up Call

*ring* *ring*. I glanced at the clock, it was 1:30 AM, who the hell could be calling at this time? Kitty rolled over to answer it. I kept my eyes shut while listening to the conversation. It didn't sound good, but what else was I to suspect from a phone call at this time. By what Kitty said I came up with the conclusion that is was Elena and she was lost somewhere in California. Kitty hung up, sprang out from under the covers and began pulling on her jeans.
"What are you doing?" I asked her.
"I have to go get her TwoBit, I can't leave her there. Dimitri won't answer his phone."
I considered it for a moment then started to say something but reconsidered and sut my mouth.
"What is it TwoBit?" Apparently Kit noticed.
"It's not healthy for you to go, like this, in your condition." I was almost begging her to stay.
"I'll be fine. I'll call you and keep you updated. I love you!" She kissed me then left.
That was it. I didn't really have a say in the matter of her leaving to go be a hero to Elena, but if it were one of my sisters and I wasn't there to help them, I'd want someone like Kit to step out for me. After an hour I decided I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep so I walked down the hall and knocked on Jelly's door.
"Jelly?"
The door never opened so I cracked it open and peeked in. Jelly wasn't in her bed so I figured she was with Dimitri.
I pulled up to the Ryder house and knocked loudly on the door, assuming they were asleep. It opened a few minutes later exposing a half dressed, messy haired, sleepy Dimitri. I could tell he didn't expect me to be the one on his doorstep. He let me in and I clued him in on what was happening. Jelly came down the stairs after a while, and we all sat up talking and drinking. It wasn't till 6AM that my phone finally rang. Kitty assured me that she was all right and already over half way there by now. A couple of hours later she called again saying she found Elena and they we're going to stay in a motel until Elena decided what to do. I sent Elena a message telling her to keep my Kitty safe.... I hope she comes home soon.

Christmas

Christmas has to be my favorite holiday ever. Spending time with family, opening presents, cold weather, eating A LOT of food. It just dont get better than that.
Speaking of presents, i couldnt afford presents for everyone so i basically just did family.


Jamie: Season 1-4 of the Office



Blair: round trip airfare for your choice of honeymoon



Kit: all of my love, a happily ever after, and much much more...


Merry Christmas Everyone!